Comments on: Getting Kids To Listen http://www.colicinfant.com/blog/jinis-musings/getting-kids-to-listen/ Co-Creating Healthy, Compassionate, Wise Families Fri, 30 Jul 2010 15:36:37 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: JINI http://www.colicinfant.com/blog/jinis-musings/getting-kids-to-listen/comment-page-1/#comment-366 JINI Fri, 08 May 2009 07:35:33 +0000 http://www.colicinfant.com/blog/?p=48#comment-366 Hi SuZen, I think you handled that superbly! It definitely would have been helpful if I'd understood how the track meet was going to work, so I could have explained it to Oscar too. Knowledge is power, for kids as well as adults! Oscar's thinking about continuing with track and then going to at least one meet before he decides whether he will quit or not. Interestingly, this process has resulted in good progress with his soccer too. We discussed how he was doing a similar thing with the development team. However, I pointed out that since we had to pay for that special training, then I didn't think it was okay that he didn't attend just because he'd rather have a playdate - as that costs us money. So we worked out a deal whereby if he doesn't want to attend soccer, that's fine, he just has to pay me $10. Natural consequences. He also understands that if he misses too many, he may lose his place on the team. sigh...it's hard work, but it's all good. hugs, Jini Hi SuZen,

I think you handled that superbly! It definitely would have been helpful if I’d understood how the track meet was going to work, so I could have explained it to Oscar too. Knowledge is power, for kids as well as adults! Oscar’s thinking about continuing with track and then going to at least one meet before he decides whether he will quit or not.

Interestingly, this process has resulted in good progress with his soccer too. We discussed how he was doing a similar thing with the development team. However, I pointed out that since we had to pay for that special training, then I didn’t think it was okay that he didn’t attend just because he’d rather have a playdate – as that costs us money. So we worked out a deal whereby if he doesn’t want to attend soccer, that’s fine, he just has to pay me $10. Natural consequences. He also understands that if he misses too many, he may lose his place on the team.

sigh…it’s hard work, but it’s all good.

hugs,
Jini

]]> By: Susan Wade http://www.colicinfant.com/blog/jinis-musings/getting-kids-to-listen/comment-page-1/#comment-365 Susan Wade Thu, 07 May 2009 13:22:45 +0000 http://www.colicinfant.com/blog/?p=48#comment-365 Good Morning! Interesting about the track meet as M was up the night before with serious anxiety issues about it. I let him crawl into bed with me and have a cuddle so we could talk about it. I realised that he had no idea how a track meet was run or that you only race with people your own age or that you even get a ribbon (everybody does at Elementary). I explained it all to him right down to the staggered starting positions as I did a lot of track in Elementary and High school. I told him some fun stories about my experiences with track and even a couple of stories that I wasn't so proud of. I also told him that he could just watch if he wanted to so he could see for himself if it was comfortable for him. But I did say that he had to go because it would be a shame after all the early morning practices etc. I probably even used the C word, committment! Too bad all this conflict happened. I hope that the original concern I had about the teasing is not lost in all this but simply put on hold and can be looked at later. I truly love your thinking process and how you alwys consider the long term effct an action taken now can have in our childrens future. I especially value your insight on how kids imitate how their parents react to situations and can "replay" them with others...food for thought for sure! hugs and love XO SuZen Good Morning!
Interesting about the track meet as M was up the night before with serious anxiety issues about it. I let him crawl into bed with me and have a cuddle so we could talk about it. I realised that he had no idea how a track meet was run or that you only race with people your own age or that you even get a ribbon (everybody does at Elementary). I explained it all to him right down to the staggered starting positions as I did a lot of track in Elementary and High school. I told him some fun stories about my experiences with track and even a couple of stories that I wasn’t so proud of. I also told him that he could just watch if he wanted to so he could see for himself if it was comfortable for him. But I did say that he had to go because it would be a shame after all the early morning practices etc. I probably even used the C word, committment!
Too bad all this conflict happened. I hope that the original concern I had about the teasing is not lost in all this but simply put on hold and can be looked at later. I truly love your thinking process and how you alwys consider the long term effct an action taken now can have in our childrens future. I especially value your insight on how kids imitate how their parents react to situations and can “replay” them with others…food for thought for sure!
hugs and love XO
SuZen

]]>